Marriage used To be sacred, an institution with all earthly imperfections but still endured the test of time. These days what we have is a glorified short/long term relationships or should I call it, Union-ship. Where one party feels… “Damn I have had enough I think it’s time I pull the plugs.”
Many people marry for the wrong reasons. Some see marriage as an escape route from poverty while others see it as a necessary social responsibility and we have a handful that marries just to have kids. While a few do because they think it is the next thing to do.
These are some reasons why some marriages fail.
1. Vanity: This goes to the female. The enthusiasm an average Nigerian lady show for her wedding far exceeds what she shows in her marriage. Most ladies can go to the ends of the earth to make sure she’s got the most adorned and colorful wedding, but fail to have the endurance to cope with ups and downs in their marital homes.
2. Lust: This one goes to the guys. Most men are lustful creatures who roam the earth like stray dogs high on libido. Their prying eyes cannot resist hips, booty, breasts and a pretty face. They seldom discipline their sexual urges hence allowing the animal instincts in them to control them. As if one hole is not enough, as my friend use to say…”A hole is a hole”. So what’s the ish? Many men remain victims of their imaginations. 60% of marriage breakups are from infidelity.
3. Lack of respect: This one goes to both sexes but tilting more to the ladies. Most ladies believe they are equal among men.Some of them who happen to be more financially buoyant than their husbands, see themselves as Lord over them. To clear the air, men are created more superior than women so in a marriage you give respect to whom it’s due. 90% of violence is caused by disrespect. The lady knows she can’t beat him up so she inflicts verbal blows to provoke him and hurt him. In retaliation, the man uses what he believe is his advantage, his physical strength and what happens next? The lady cries fowl… “Violent man”.
I don’t think there is a sane man that derives pleasure in beating ladies for fun or a sane woman who insults men for the fun of it. Everyone has got feelings and respecting them is a major step in sustaining a marriage
4. Lack of unified interests: Ever wondered why businesses grow and become more prosperous? It’s because every stakeholder is aligned to pursue the same interest. Interest is the fuel for every relationship whether business, social or religious. It is that factor that enables every relationship to grow. Apart from the love, sex and food in marriages, interest is what binds the couple together.
5. Personification: Some men see their women as assets, properties or a valuable belonging. They get carried away by the beauty and fail to realize that beauty is just the surface and not the substance. By beauty, fashion and all perceptive impressions he sees a woman that tickles his fancy, he goes through fire to possess and he keeps like a trophy. But like all valuables, depreciation of value sets in and when he sees another trophy with a more perceived value he goes for it with renewed vigor.